dear sam in ten years.
if you’re actually reading this in ten years, it’s should be 2030. kind of a long way to go. it is may 17th, 2020. yesterday rica and guera came over and you guys let loose, had a lot of fun, talked deep(kinda), laughed, and you cried. i hope you get to experience that more times throughout the ten years of time that will be passing by. you are currently dating karli michelle rivas, 110919, you guys are doing great, you have your days but who doesn’t.? you’re currently in a position on where you want to open up to her and let her in because she deserves to know you, the real you. but you’re scared because the last time you did that, it did not end well. you don’t want to be hurt again. you’ve been hurt a lot, and not only by females but by random’s, family. mostly family. i hope you’re relationship with mom is much better, i hope you can go to her when you need it and she doesn’t just brush it off. i hope you’re not still hurting and are happy with you’re life. i hope you and karli are still together and as happy as you are right now. i hope so much happiness and success in your life that you finally feel like you are good enough to be living and not feel like you’re such a goddam damn burden to everyone in your life. i hope you aren’t as fucked up as you are right now. i hope you can control your emotions and your anger and still have a lot of patience with karli. you are a good person. you don’t give yourself enough credit right now but i believe you will learn too. i hope you focus on your self more and give yourself time to heal from things. i hope you are healed from things you are feeling right now and what you have felt in the past. you have been through so much, so much and you are barley 17 at the time and you experienced worse things that some older people will ever experience in their life. you are strong, i know you don’t like hearing that now because you don’t believe it but you are. no matter the amount of breakdowns and anxiety attacks you have you’re hanging in their. barley. you have a lot of ups and downs with yourself and you are so hard on yourself when you shouldn’t be at all. you need to stop trying to be the perfect daughter, girlfriend, friend, and person for everyone else. i need to learn that now because it going to hurt you. i really hope you get to read this because you are so funny and a great person inside and out. you just need to trust yourself. please don’t give up so you are “awake” to read this. fuck me. i love you.
- sincerely sam ten years from the past. (that’s all it is, the past. character development.)